There are bars with rooftop views. There are bars inside luxury hotels. And then there are bars where the view outside the window is somewhere around 40,000 feet above the Earth.
I've always found onboard airline bars slightly ridiculous — in the best possible way.
You're travelling hundreds of kilometres an hour inside a pressurised metal tube, somewhere over an ocean, and instead of remaining in your seat you can stand up, walk to another part of the aircraft and order a cocktail from an actual bar.
Commercial aviation probably doesn't need this.
Which is exactly why I love the idea.
This is not a ranking.
I haven't personally experienced any of these onboard bars and lounges, so I'm certainly not going to pretend that number one is better than number two.
Think of this instead as my shortlist of the airline bars and social spaces that I find most interesting and would genuinely love to try.
And when I say bars in the sky, I'm using the term slightly loosely.
Some of these are genuine staffed cocktail bars. Others are beautifully designed social lounges where premium passengers can leave their seats, have a drink, talk to other travellers or simply sit somewhere different for an hour.
Either way, they're a dying breed.
New aircraft increasingly seem obsessed with privacy, doors and individual suites. All fantastic things — but there is something wonderfully old-school about designing part of an aircraft specifically so passengers can actually meet each other.
These are actual lounges inside the aircraft.
We might as well start with the obvious one.
When most people think about an airline with a bar onboard, they probably think about Emirates and the A380.
The Onboard Lounge sits at the rear of the A380's upper deck and is available to passengers travelling in First and Business Class.
And this isn't just a drinks trolley parked next to a curtain.
There is an actual curved bar, seating along the sides, tables and cabin crew preparing drinks behind the counter.
Emirates offers cocktails, wines, spirits, mocktails and light bites, while the newer versions of the lounge use lighter colours, bronze details and wood finishes.
To me, this is the onboard bar that looks most like somewhere you could genuinely spend an hour rather than simply visit for the novelty.
You could sit in your Business Class seat drinking champagne.
Or you could walk to the back of the aircraft, stand at a bar somewhere over the Indian Ocean and have someone mix you a cocktail.
I know which one sounds more interesting.
If Emirates looks like a glamorous hotel bar, Qatar Airways' version looks more like a private members' lounge.
Qatar's A380 has a large lounge positioned behind the Business Class cabin, available to both First and Business Class passengers.
There are sweeping sofas, a proper curved bar, mood lighting and a drinks selection that includes wines, spirits and other premium beverages.
The airline also serves light bites and snacks here.
Visually, I might actually prefer this one to Emirates.
It feels less like "look, we've put a bar on an aeroplane!" and more like someone tried to hide a small luxury hotel lounge inside an A380.
Whether that makes it better?
I have absolutely no idea.
Remember: I'm sitting behind a laptop judging aeroplane bars from photographs.
Virgin Atlantic deserves a place here for one very simple reason: they've been doing the social-space thing for years.
Long before every Business Class seat needed a sliding door, Virgin understood that some passengers might actually enjoy leaving their seat occasionally.
On selected A350s and A330neos, that idea has evolved into The Loft.
This isn't quite the traditional stand-at-the-counter bar you get on Emirates.
Instead, it's more of a living room in the sky.
Upper Class passengers can sit together, have drinks, eat, chat or watch the large screen rather than spending the entire flight isolated inside their individual seats.
And visually, it is unmistakably Virgin.
Dark interiors. Purple and red mood lighting. Sofas. A slightly nightclub-ish feeling.
If Emirates is Dubai hotel glamour, Virgin Atlantic is more Soho cocktail lounge at 35,000 feet.
Then we get to the one with easily the best name.
The Celestial Bar.
You could almost stop there.
Korean Air's A380 includes this dedicated social space for First Class and Prestige Class passengers.
Compared with Emirates and Qatar, the design is slightly more understated.
There are sofas, mood lighting, a drinks counter and enough space to leave your seat and relax somewhere completely different during a long flight.
It also feels like a little piece of aviation history.
So many airlines have retired their A380s — and with them the lounges, bars and strange little premium spaces that only made financial sense on a gigantic double-decker aircraft.
The fact that the Celestial Bar is still around makes me want to try it before products like this disappear completely.
Etihad takes a completely different approach.
Its A380 social space is called The Lobby, positioned between First and Business Class on the upper deck.
This is much smaller and more intimate than either Emirates or Qatar.
Instead of building the cabin around a large bar counter, Etihad created what looks more like a tiny luxury hotel sitting room.
There is curved seating, a central table and service for First and Business Class passengers.
And I actually think the size is part of its charm.
You're not pretending you're in some enormous nightclub.
You're very obviously still on an aeroplane — just sitting in an absurdly luxurious little lounge in the middle of it.
Qantas is probably the least flashy entry on this list.
And maybe that is exactly the point.
The refurbished Qantas A380 includes an onboard lounge for First and Business Class.
It doesn't have the enormous illuminated cocktail bar of Qatar or the horseshoe centrepiece of Emirates.
Instead you get booth-style seating, tables and a quieter environment designed to let passengers sit somewhere different during some extremely long flights.
And Qantas of all airlines has a good excuse for providing one.
When you're spending the best part of a day travelling between Australia and another continent, being able to leave your seat and sit in what resembles a small café sounds genuinely useful rather than simply extravagant.
Modern Business Class has become obsessed with one thing: privacy.
And don't get me wrong — privacy is fantastic.
Doors are fantastic.
Direct aisle access is fantastic.
Turning your seat into a tiny private bedroom for ten hours is fantastic.
But something has been lost along the way.
Older premium cabins often had communal spaces because airlines had more physical room to experiment.
The A380 in particular created enough spare floor space for airlines to start asking ridiculous questions like:
From an efficiency point of view, it's ridiculous.
Every square metre occupied by a sofa or cocktail bar could theoretically contain another revenue-generating seat.
But aviation would be incredibly boring if everything were designed purely around spreadsheets.
These are the little things that make certain aircraft memorable.
There is one important catch with all of this.
Do not book an airline simply because you saw a photo of its onboard bar.
These products are aircraft-specific.
Emirates' famous lounge is on the A380 — not every Emirates aircraft. Qatar's lounge is an A380 feature. Korean Air's Celestial Bar is tied to the A380. Etihad's Lobby is also an A380 product.
Virgin Atlantic's social spaces vary depending on the exact aircraft and configuration.
And airlines can change aircraft for operational reasons even after you've booked.
If one of these onboard lounges is a major reason you're buying an expensive premium ticket, check the aircraft type and seat map before booking — and check it again closer to departure.
An aircraft swap can turn your dream of cocktails at 40,000 feet into cocktails at seat 7A surprisingly quickly.
I'm not going to pretend to rank these because I haven't actually tried them.
And judging six onboard bars from photos would be peak internet behaviour.
But if you gave me a ticket tomorrow?
I think I'd probably start with Emirates' A380 Onboard Lounge, simply because it has become such an iconic part of the A380 experience.
Qatar's lounge might actually look more elegant. Virgin's Loft has more personality. Etihad's Lobby looks wonderfully intimate. Korean Air's Celestial Bar feels like something aviation enthusiasts should experience while they still can. And Qantas probably offers the most practical version of the idea.
But really, the attraction isn't the alcohol.
It's the absurdity of it.
You're standing at a bar, chatting to someone you've never met, while travelling across the planet at nearly 1,000 km/h.
That's pretty hard to recreate on the ground.
More aviation, lounges and flight ideas from Dino The Tourist.
